Favorite Quotations

***New*** ‎”I’ve always hated Mondays, the whole lot of them. Too much whiplash, snapping the tired masses to attention. God’s way, perhaps, of reminding us that we are not masters of our fate, no matter how deluded we became during the weekend respite.” — Jonathan Hull (Losing Julia)

‎***New*** “In my life long study of human beings, I have found that no matter how hard they try, they have found no way yet to prevent the arrival of Monday morning. And they do try, of course, but Monday always comes, and all the drones have to scuttle back to their dreary workday lives of meaningless toin and suffering.” — Jeff Lindsay

***New*** ‎”For disappearing acts, it’s hard to beat what happens to the 8 hours supposedly left after 8 of sleep and 8 of work.” — Doug Larsen

***New*** ‎”Sometimes the facts in my head get bored and decide to take a walk in my mouth. Frequently this is a bad thing.” — Scott Westerfeld

***New*** “I love to sleep. Do you? Isn’t it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.” — Rita Rudner

***New*** ‎”Shall I tell you the secret of the whole world? It is that we have only known the back of the world. We see everything from behind, and it looks brutal. That is not a tree, but the back of a tree. That is not a cloud, but the back of a cloud. Cannot you see that everything is stooping and hiding a face? If we could only get round in front–” — G.K. Chesterton (The Man Who Was Thursday)

***New*** “‘I am obviously being targeted by extraterrestrials. I don’t know what I have done to annoy them but there is no other explanation that makes sense. The chance of being hit by a meteorite is so small that getting hit six times has to be deliberate.'” – Radivoje Lajic – Source: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/835482-man-hit-by-six-meteorites-is-being-targeted-by-aliens

“Don’t believe everything you think.” – Mike Schikman

GA Democratic Rep. Hank Johnson: “My fear is that the whole island (Guam) will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize.” —http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20001567-503544.html

C.C. Baxter: “The mirror… it’s broken.”  Fran Kubelik: “Yes, I know.  I like it that way.  Makes me look the way I feel.” – The Apartment

Henry Hill: “If you’re part of a crew, nobody ever tells you that they’re going to kill you, doesn’t happen that way.  There weren’t any arguments or curses like in the movies.  See, your murderers come with smiles, they come as your friends, the people who’ve cared for you all of your life.  And they always seem to come at a time that you’re at your weakest and most in need of their help.” – Goodfellas

President Merkin Muffley: “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here!  This is the War Room!” – Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb

“The rest of my life I have struggled to put together the genuine liking I had for some people with a cringing that they could do what they did.”  Carly Marshall from the book The Remember Box by Patricia Sprinkle

“I would be the worst mother.  I’m too neurotic.   If my kid yelled to me in the middle of the night, “Mommy, I think there’s a monster under my bed!” I’d be like, ‘Of course there is, honey.  That’s why I’m not coming in there.'” – Jen Kirkman

“As for her, still waters run deep, it seems.  She always looked so solemn.   Fancy her shooting him!” – 1979 M. Underwood Victim of Circumstances ii. 86

“It’s not getting any smarter out there.  You have to come to terms with stupidity and make it work for you.” – Frank Zappa

Kate: “I know what you’re saying.  I’m not sexy enough.   You want this pouty little girl who says yes when she means no and no when she means yes and I cannot do it!  Okay. Happy-smile sad-frown!  Use the corresponding face with the corresponding emotion!” – French Kiss

Luc: [on Kate’s fear of flying] “I’m curious how you got around your whole life, or do you just stay in your house with the doors locked?”  Kate: “I get around as nature intended: in a car.” – French Kiss

Kate: “Hi there. C’est moi.”  Concierge: [coolly] “Welcome back, Madame, to the Georges V.”  Kate: “Huh… it’s incredible how you do that. The words come out – “Welcome back” – but the meaning is completely different. What’s the deal, is that a French thing or a concierge thing?”  Concierge: “As Madame wishes.”   Kate: “You did it again. Tell me something, because I just… I don’t get it. Do you enjoy being that rude? Because when you do that, it just gets underneath my skin, and it makes me… completely… INSANE!” – French Kiss

Judy: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”   Howard:” That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard.” – What’s Up Doc?

“I hate when women compare men to dogs. Men are not dogs. Dogs are loyal.” – Wanda Sykes

“Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings…. We simply continue to fly ………on a broomstick…… We are flexible.” – Unknown

“Thus ends tonight’s story. After seeing it, I think you’ll treat your neighbor more kindly. After all, he may be a former ax murderer. Of course, there’s nothing to worry about. He’s probably out of practice.” – Alfred Hitchcock

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